How to get a job.

I got a job this week, in the midst of the Bush Depression.

I consider myself almost unemployable. I am 56, I have not worked at a normal job for 5 years, and my resume is full of companies that went out of business.

The one good thing is that I went to an HVAC school and graduated. That shows that I did something productive for the past 6 months, and that I am not senile.

I got a job by adopting a new attitude. I have become CUTTHROAT!

I would do anything to get a job. I have decided that many people out there are lying about who they are, some are faking their educational credits and job history. The only way to compete is to do the same thing.

Do ANYTHING to get your foot in the door.

Improving your resume:

First of all is the resume. It has to get past the receptionist that is the first filter, and yet still carry enough information to intrigue the hiring manager. So you put a list of skills at the top of the page. Every single skill that you have, and make it sound professional (you do not cook, you are a baker!) You will have variations of this list depending on what type of job you are applying for. That receptionist has been given a list of three key words. If none of those key words is in your list, it is thrown away. If all three are there, it goes in the ‘good’ pile.

The receptionist may filter your resume into a company format before passing it on. That means that all of your fancy formatting efforts are destroyed, and your resume may become unreadable. I have decided to convert my resume to Adobe’s .PDF format using a free service I found online. That way, it will usually be delivered with the same style that you put into it.

Eventually your resume is read by ‘the old white guy’. This is someone with the authority to hire people. They are usually older and very experienced. They have a built in B.S. detector. To get an interview, you either have to satisfy him, or snow him with your B.S.

You must word every job description on your resume to please ‘the old white guy’. It must look as though you were an excellent worker, a self-starter, made the company more profitable, etc. You only left because you had a much, much better opportunity somewhere else, or the company failed through no fault of your own.

Finding jobs:

What type of jobs are you capable of getting? Think of every different job title that you should look for. Write them down. Make the list as long as possible.

Now search on the net for job sites that specialize in your type of work. Craigslist is great but do not stop there, because the competition is fierce.

Now start applying for jobs. If possible, email out at least 10 resumes a day, and try to reach 20 a day.  If you are employable at all, by the time you send out 100 resumes, you should get an interview. Do that in a week, not a year.

Many businesses have set up an application process of some sort. Learn to get through these at high speed. Have all of your information printed in large letters and stapled to the wall above the computer so that you can type it in without hesitation (or some other suitable system). You did know that some of these processes are timed, right?

The questions are often designed to determine your aptitude, or your ability to manage people. Write down the tricky questions and talk to professional HR people about how to answer them on your next application. Remember, if they are looking for managers, you have to say that you like telling people what to do. If they are looking for workers, you have to say that you enjoy taking orders from people, even when you know they are wrong.

The interview-

When you get an interview, it means that they have decided that you have the background to do the job. From this point on, you have to sell yourself.

We have all heard that phrase, but what does it mean?

This is the key to getting the job. You have become a product. Think of yourself as a product in a grocery store. The company is the customer. They are hungry, they only have a little bit of money, and they are only going to buy one item. They wander around the store, looking at hundreds of items. You want them to grab you and drop the money on the counter.

At any grocery store, there are the ‘impulse’ items right near the counter. These items sell faster than anything else does. They are very cheap, very brightly packaged, and are bought on impulse, not because they are on the shopping list. Nobody writes ‘3 musketeers’ on their shopping list.

You want to be an impulse item. You must be attractive, interesting, warm, cheap, and convenient. So SMILE! Wear a suit or other business attire. Make friends. This is all about reaching out to them on an emotional level.

It is very similar to a date. You look them in the eyes with a warm smile and a handshake. You remember their name. You find common ground to talk about. If you get a chance, you take them for a ride.

A good way to look at it is that these people may become your best friends for the next 10 years. Not only that, they are willing to give you money! Most of my friends have never given me a dime. If one of them said “Hey Bill, every time you come to spend the day with me, I’ll give you a hundred bucks.” I would be there every day!

Answer their questions as if you have the highest standard of morality, do your best to project the feeling that you know how to handle the job, and act as if the prospect of doing the job absolutely thrills you. They want to have someone that is part of the team, easy to work with, responsible, professional, etc. BE THAT PERSON!

Then go home and have a beer.

Magic

For many years of my life, I searched for magic in the world. I have actually climbed mountains, walked through forests and desserts, and met with people claiming to have certain powers. I learned to meditate and alter the way I perceive the world just to catch a glimpse of something that should not be there.

In one way, I have to say that magic does not exist. If someone tries to tell you that they can walk on water or lead you to paradise, you should run the other way as fast as possible. Most of the amazing things that you hear about are either totally false or a case of a professional using special equipment to fool everyone.

 

But there is a bit of ‘magic’ in the world.

 

I find magic in the personalities of the people that I meet. Each person is different, each has experienced a different world, and you can listen to them for days while they tell you their experiences and how they perceive the world around them.

 

I have talked to many people for extended periods of time. Sometimes I tell my friends that I have found that everyone is crazy. This is just a humorous expression of my perception, because I have found that everyone drifts from reality and talks about beliefs that are obviously impossible.

 

A major problem is that we are seldom logical and rational people, fully aware and awake. More often we are emotional and reacting to events as they occur, and at some level of attention from deep sleep to day-dreaming. The average person probably is only fully awake for a few hours each day.

Rationality and logic are actually a result of extensive training, and very few people use them. Instead they rely on ‘common sense’.  Common sense is a list of ‘facts’ that authorities figures have passed on to you during your life. The problem is, was the first authority figure that created the ‘fact’ a rational and awake person? Usually, the information that we carry with us as common sense carries with it the attitudes and morals of our parents, priests, or childhood peers. The truth is that common sense is a total fabrication. The term is only used when you do not do something the exact way that someone else expected you to do it. It is really just a lack of communication.

 

 

 

What if I told you that there is a better way to think? A way to improve your level of success in the world? A ‘common sense’ approach that feels natural and yet always gives you a better result than usual? It is done by using a combination of rational thinking, emotional judgment, symbol manipulation, strategic planning, controlled attitude, and precise communication.

 

We only need to use a little bit of rational thinking, so don’t get stressed about it. We start every ‘train’ of thought with things that we know to be true. No assumptions. If your initial thoughts are based on concepts that can be proven scientifically, then they are less likely to turn into daydreams, and other people will believe you.

 

We all make emotional judgments about everything. The ‘hunch’ is actually a message from the non-verbal areas of the brain. These non-verbal areas are much larger than the thin layer that differentiates us from animals. This type of thinking made it possible for our ancestors to survive for a billion years. You must take a hunch seriously, but then filter it with logical and rational analysis to see if it fits reality.

 

Symbol manipulation is what we do very well. Language is the best example. With language we create a sound that represents a certain thing, and then share it with our friends. We use math, music and special terminology for our work. Take key concepts of any subject that you wish to discuss/understand and create/find a simple word and symbol to represent each concept. Suddenly it is much easier to manipulate that knowledge. It is condensed and easy to move about in your mind.

 

Strategic planning is not often taught in any place but military and management schools. Most people are taught to be workers, to complete any task set before them by a manager. Lower level managers are taught how to manage people. They try to get them to come to work every day, do the job, not fight, not waste time or resources, and stay until the end of the day.

But at the top there has to be someone that is a strategic planner. They have to pilot the entire organization in profitable directions. To them, people and departments are just symbols to be manipulated. They have a goal to achieve, and everything else is an obstacle, opportunity, or tool. Usually they have a time limit and a budget as the limits of their ‘playing field’.

There can only be one person at the top. But if each of us has a better understanding of what that person is trying to achieve, we can help insure that our company can reach those goals.

 

Controlled Attitude is a symbol/key-word that I use to represent the self-image that we should project to others. What I mean is that your attitude has a lot to do with success in anything that you do. If you allow yourself to act differently each day depending on how you happen to ‘feel’ at the moment, you will never be very successful.

Let us say that you want people to like you. The best way to get people to like you is to always be a happy person. No matter how you really feel, you smile at everyone that you meet and talk in a happy, up-beat manner. One bad day where you express depressed or angry thoughts will be remembered for years, and people will not feel very close to you.

On the other hand, if you want to be a successful leader, you have to project the attitude that you know exactly what you are doing, know where you are going, and inspire others to believe that if they follow you they will improve their life too.

To use this technique correctly, you must decide what your goals are, and exactly what attitude you need to project. It may take years to change a ‘bad’ attitude into a useful one. You can not fake the right attitude, you have to live it.

 

Precise communication is essential to powerful collaboration. Say the right word at the right time with the right inflection, and the meaning that you wish to convey leaps into the minds of others like a flaming spear. Anything else is just a mush that has to be translated by the listener. Use of phrases like “that thing” or “these ones” convey nothing except the need for attention. The listener must approach and solve the mystery. The speaker may as well be invisible.

No one can read your mind. If someone has been with you long enough that they can figure out what you mean before you are done talking, you are just boring and predictable.

On the other hand, when working as a team, everyone should know the goals and direction of travel. Some things do not need to be said because they can be predicted or assumed. At those times the correct words can resonate in everyone’s mind. To say complementary words for the group makes the mind glow and the spirit leap. A snide or sarcastic remark can destroy the rhythm, break the spirit and dissipates the group.

 

Can you remember all of that? Do you think any of it is wrong? Perhaps you know of something else that can be added to the list. Comment and I will listen. Inspire me to write more.

Social Media Friends

In the olden days (like 10 years ago), the friends you had were people that you had met through other friends, family, or work. Some people had one friend, very social people had 20 friends. Now it is easy to have 2000 friends. You may have never met most of these people, but you can talk to them whenever you want through email, facebook, twitter or any other social site.

My problem right now is that I only consider someone my friend if I have met them in real life. On Meetup, I have over 100 friends that I have talked to, drank with, and shared memories: http://www.meetup.com/members/2357457/friends/  On LinkedIn I currently have about 30 people that I have met or worked with, with only a little overlap: http://www.linkedin.com/in/wildzbill

On Twitter (http://twitter.com/wildzbill) I am following a new model. I don’t know most of those people. I have a few friends, a few famous people, and a bunch of strangers. The key here is to use a filter program like twitterdeck, and put everyone in different categories. So I have friends, stars, and everyone else. I will add other categories, so that if I am interested in a certain topic, I can tap into the information that is flowing from that group. But most people are just people. They talk about their lives, their relationships, what they had for breakfast, etc. They will not go into any category, and I will probably never read their posts.

This has a deeper meaning. No one will listen to you unless you have a single, obvious label! If you broadcast more than one interest, you will be shoved into that mass of ‘other’ people that everyone ignores! You are just noise/spam/follower_#3456!

So, in response to this effect, people create many different identities. It is quite common to have 5 different identities on Twitter. First, you have yourself. That is, you broadcast whatever you want, and only your friends respond. Then you have your business ID, where you only broadcast information that is professional, useful, dignified, etc. Perhaps you have a ‘party’ ID, that only broadcasts your crazy/impulsive thoughts.

I am contemplating a change in my entire concept of friends. I will switch over to the idea of having as many friends/followers as possible, and just use filters to look at my real friends, business associates, interesting people, famous people, creative people. If you are reading this, you have to wonder, “Which group am I in?” Then you have to think the same thought about all of your ‘friends’.

Personally, I hope that I end up in categories like friends, creatives, geniuses, studs, organizers, and wisemen.